Writing

The Raw

These days are raw. Emotions well up. The real world is overwhelming us quite literally.

Exponential change is not our normal world. Exponential change happens slowly at first then suddenly becomes large and all consuming. People will be surprised by the rapidity of changes. The later we respond the more drastic the action required. It’s now that time.

Drastic changes mean that we are forced to react and react to our reactions. Before we are settled on one new set of rules the changes come again. At the same time we are dealing with stories we never imagined in our modern life. We are coping with fear, panic and losss. We struggle to make sense of how the world works now. No wonder things seem raw.

The Cooked

We need to recognise that the stories we hear, the stories we tell ourselves and the stories we tell each other fit into a larger system. These stories come from community and they are suffused with culture. Now is the time to sustain these connections, even in our isolation. Especially because of our isolation.

Community is what enables us to realise our human potential. If we are ever to convert our talents from their raw state to something more valuable it will be because of, supported by, and for our communities. Purpose does not lie in us. It lies in our contributions to others. The harder it gets the more important our contribution is. The obstacles are the work.

We feel raw because we care. We care for ourselves. We care for others. Human beings are inherently social. Care, culture and community is what has enabled and sustained our society. In raw times, we must not abandon these critical enablers. We must redouble our commitment to them. They are our path forward together.

Care, culture and community help us to look beyond today. We feel today like all we can see is the loss. We may yet lose very big things like jobs, incomes, wealth, status, and more importantly the lives of ones we love. What we don’t lose is our potential to recover, to rebuild and to renew. We will mourn our losses together at some point in the future but we will go on and make something new and better again together. We cannot see it clearly now but we can make the next phase better together with care and community.

Today you have the simple choice. You will be raw in your experience of this threatening world. Forgive yourself for the rawness, the pain, the regret and the loss. They are real. Give yourself also the time to reach out, to care for others, to share stories and to embrace the culture and community within which we live. Others need help more than ever now. Your contact and concern could be the most important gesture in their life today.

When the world pushes, you push back.

Finding Resilience

Events prompted me yesterday to look up an Albert Camus quote that I have always loved:

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.

Albert Camus

This quote has always been part of my defences in the rough and tumble of work and life. I am fascinated by Camus and have read much of his work in translation. I particularly love The Rebel, as someone who identifies as a change agent. However, I have always clung to this quote as a call to resilence and to rely on my internal and enduring strengths in times of challenge. It helps me to remember that though times may have changed, I have not.

As I was reading, I found a longer version that I had not seen before and I love even more:

In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer. And that makes me happy. For it says that no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger – something better, pushing right back

Albert Camus

Imagination

We need more than resilience. We can’t just accept the buffeting of the world as it is. We all have dreams for something better and something more. The human condition is to be agent of change, to be an agent of transcendance of the world. Tim Rayner shared this comment recently on a thread on existentialism.

We have lots of ways to found our push back against the world. The nature of our human existence depends on it. Rayner mentions imagination. I’d add that our imagination enables us to levearge purpose, compassion, yearning and love as other elements of our inner ‘invincible summer’. We can reach beyond where we are now and see what might be for us and for others.

As the storms around us get darker, as our isolation grows, we can feel that we are beset and besieged. As the losses in our lives grow, we can start to feel that the harsh world has won. We need to cherish the flame of our imagination. We need to continue to believe in a better world for us and for others. We need to explore our agency to make changes big and small to bring back control to our world and to live our human potential.

It’s human nature to seek to realise the potential of our rich, vibrant and social imagination. We inspire others with stories, myths, visions, calls to action and plans for the future. We encourage them to push too. We solve big problems together with imaginative leaps. We need to spend time with our imagination more than ever.

Leaps of imagination can be frightening when the days are dark. We need to remember that the leap is not the source of the delight, fear or confusion that we may experience as we contemplate action. Those emotions all happens before the leap. The leap is the response to those emotions and brings new emotions of exercising our human potential.

The world always pushes. Engage your imagination. Push back.

Yesterday Swoop Analytics released its first comprehensive analysis of Microsoft Teams use across the Swoop client base. I am a big fan of Swoop Analytic’s work and it is great to have data now to back up the observations and expectations we had of use of the Microsoft Teams platform and its adoption across organisations. I am not going to summarise the report in this piece (others have and will do that). I strongly recommend that everyone interested in collaboration, teamwork and Microsoft Teams reads the full report. It is full of gems and requires further thinking. Even Swoop Analytics highlight that there are areas that there analysis needs to develop either because behaviour is still new and maturing on Microsoft Teams or because the data APIs don’t yet exist (though they have worked with clients on some creative workarounds for the API gaps).

However, here are my major takeaways:

People are People: Over and over again the insights in the report are that people are people. The way they have conversations is driven by human relationships. The way they organise teams is driven by culture. The way they do work is driven by culture, habits and the available solutions. Swoop Analytics’ user personas from Yammer are the same as Microsoft Teams because the users are the same (and mostly they demonstrate the same behaviour on each platform). If you want to bet on anything in Microsoft Teams ask yourself first, ‘Would a real human do that?’

Microsoft Teams is about Teamwork (in all its myriad flavours): Teams are complex. They come in many different kinds and have their own unique dynamics. Swoop Analytics have done a great job of summarising the way teams mature and what that means for the maturity of Microsoft Teams and your organisational culture. Don’t assume one size fits all. It doesn’t even fit most. Allow different teams of different types to explore their own uniqueness.

There’s no magic technology: Swoop Analytics highlight that the usage of Microsoft Teams varies widely. In many cases, that seems to depend on from what solution you are migrating. It also depends on the team culture. Like every other highly capable platform that wants to earn a share of people’s work, Microsoft Teams requires support and adoption work. Engagement is good but that is not the end of the value story for organisations.

Microsoft Teams is not the only answer: A consistent theme throughout the report is that Microsoft Teams exists in an ecosystem of solutions in the organisations. It is not the only answer. The usage of Tabs highlights that while some users are getting benefits pulling some solutions like Excel, OneNote and Planner into the Microsoft Teams single pane of glass that is not universal yet. It is also important to note that the report indicates increased collaboration when Microsoft Teams and Yammer are used together to accelerate within team engagement and work (Microsoft Teams) and to connect, share, solve and innovate with the wider organisation (Yammer)

Don’t Kill the Golden Goose: You can love Microsoft Teams to death. The high end numbers of Microsoft Teams use in the report are actually more than a little frightening. Instant messaging and flying threads is not always the best way to think and to work. You can have too much engagement for reflection and work. At the other end of the spectrum, IT can over love Microsoft Teams too with too many controls, too many rigorous how to guides, too much training, too much turning stuff off and locking down all the team structures.

Love the Features. Use the Features. Don’t Rely on Features: Features are just features. They aren’t even use cases. Microsoft Teams has an amazing array of powerful features. Don’t rely on them alone.

Bet on the Grass Roots: If you want the value of your Microsoft Teams implementation to grow and develop it needs to integrate into, adapt to and evolve with the work of the organisation and its teams. That will only happen if the wider grass roots workers in the organisation take to Microsoft Teams and make it their own. Swoop Analytics has a strong model of both team and organisational cultural dynamics to underpin that maturity but you have to let your people do that work and support their journey.

The anxieties are real, but anxiety describes the future. Now is where we are. Now is when we must act.

The human brain doesn’t do exponential well. We are built for a more linear and gradual world of change. The exponential growth of a novel global pandemics are more than enough to overwhelm our ability to understand and manage any situation. Add potential disruption to our health, families, colleagues, travels, businesses and futures and the situation means we are more than likely to be grappling with complex concerns.

The thing about anxiety is that its grip is real now, but the events haven’t happened yet. We are worrying now about an uncertain future. The threatening future events that grab our attention may never happen. They are just one path among many. We all hope the toilet paper hoarders are embarrassed in weeks to come. We all hope governments find better ways to lead us and work with us to mitigate the situation. We all hope for better. We all hope now.

We need to stay present today. We can’t allow our anxieties to paralyse our ability to accurately perceive the world, to connect and share concern for others, to manage our present situation and to choose our paths forward. We need to acknowledge our concerns, mitigate our risks and use the motivations, but we can’t let them overcome us.

Today we can still act and shape the kind of future we have. Today is the only day we can act. We’ve lost our chance to act yesterday and we can’t act tomorrow yet. Anxiety is not a reason to wait. It is a reason to act now. We can only have a bias to act now. The challenge is to find and do the most constructive actions.

That is our work now. That is the work we can do together. Let’s start now.

What do you want to do today?

I’ve seen a lot about working remotely of late. However as we work remotely our leadership challenges increase. Many managers will be leading remote teams for the first time in this crisis. Leading remotely requires leaders to be deliberate and proactive.

Here are a few suggestions to manage the challenge better:

Increase the context: we often rely on informal communication in the workplace. People hear conversations, see whiteboards and have a good context for their work and engagements. In remote working, leaders need to help teams to create that context. People want the big picture. Encourage working out loud, over share, use your ESN and chat platforms, and start conversations with introductions and background. People can’t understand each other without shared context. In fast moving situations, it is more important.

Add one-on-ones: one-on-one conversations are a great routine in regular cycles. They are even more important in remote work. Have multiple conversations scheduled for coaching in the week. These will be replacing informal chats, provide a focus point for problems and feedback and ensure nobody feels lost or out of touch.

Delegate projects not tasks: remote working doesn’t support micromanagement. Give people the autonomy to tackle whole projects and the ability to manage their delivery around what else is on in their work environment.

Coach, not Answer: teams that are used to getting answers from their leader will be a little lost with remote work. Now is the time to give them the challenge of solving problems with others. Your role is to coach that process, not do the work.

Build team connection: working remotely is isolating. Build the team’s connection to each other and to others across the organisation. Celebrate wins, share positives, thank people publicly and keep the cycle of interaction moving.

Listen: Just as your communication is impaired, so will your team’s. Listen carefully, question deeply and don’t jump to conclusions. People may be struggling to get an issue to your attention.

Manage energy levels: You can’t see the work but you can sense the energy. Manage tension in the team. Set challenges and encourage people. That means extra checkin and group calls and chats.

Overindex on Care: These are challenging times. Focus deeply on your people’s needs and concerns. They matter and it’s not good for them to be alone with anxieties.

Don’t do it alone: Look after yourself. If you don’t have the coaching and support you need, buddy up with a peer to get help.

Leaders are there to help teams through challenges. This is a chance to show your support.

We go. From first thing in the morning to late at night our lives are all go. It’s time to learn how to stop.

Go Go Go

Digital and mobile technologies have sped up our world of work and expanded the channels of communication. We are in continuous contact with work colleagues, customers, the community, family and the world. The outcome of our new connections is a new pace of work and the world. There is relentless pressure to connect, to understand, do more, do faster, to solve problems and to keep going.

We have come a long way in learning how to work and live at this pace. We have learned how to filter or at least how to rely on algorithms to filter for us. We have developed new tools and ways of working that make possible the dream of working from almost anywhere there is a signal. We are even rethinking how we organise and manage work.

Learning to Stop

Speed doesn’t equal productivity. Speed simply enables us to go faster in the wrong direction.

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all.

Peter Drucker

We also have a major adjustment to our work and lives as we adapt to the need to manage a global pandemic. Travel, events and other gatherings are being cancelled. Schools are closing. Quarantines and lockdowns are coming. Advice on working from home is everywhere. We are going to have to stop more.

Wired up on the dopamine hit of our globally connected fast-paced economy we are going to have to unlearn our addictions to connection, activity and speed. The Wall Street journal has been widely criticised for an email about working from home that demands journalists are always on and always responsive. The approach exemplifies the lack of trust, excess of control and focus on speed of response of our modern work. This will have to change.

We are likely to have to go cold turkey on some activities that feed our need for achievement, status or purpose. There are others like social media that might offer dopamine distractions but used poorly will adversely affect our sanity. We can’t turn our isolation into an acceleration of needy connection.

We need to start learning to stop. Don’t answer the message immediately. We need to sit more with our own thoughts and slow them. Meditate if you can. Read a book or listen to music. Have a conversation with those round you. Tackle an old hobby. Be present.

We need to make careful choices now of where we spend our time and how we work. Carefully choosing how we spend our time and with whom is an important contribution to how our communities make it through this experience stronger and healthier. Stopping is the new and urgent learning challenge.

The next while will strain our physical health, the health of our relationships and our communities. Importantly, the challenges are going to put pressure on our mental health too. We don’t need our dopamine addictions and viral emotions crashing that complex mental adjustment. Taking on these challenges will demand we are as present and centred as we can be.

We need to learn to stop because we need to better know the person we find when we do.

We all yearn for things. We can use the feeling or we can ignore it. We can’t suppress it. Yearning is an invitation to our agency.

The biggest changes we want to make can often begin as a vague and unsettling feeling, a sense of longing for something better or different. Yearning is defined as ‘an intense longing for something.’

Yearning describes the sensation of disquiet for a change as it captures well the distance to an object, the passive nature of the feeling and that while the attachment may be strong, it is not always as intense as desire or need.

Unlike desire and need, yearning can be vague as to its object. We can yearn for specific thing or person but we can also long for abstractions like better work, satisfaction or happier life. The first hints of a change can be weak, directionless and confusing.

If we choose, we can ignore this longing. It will fade given enough time and a lack of attention. However, it won’t go away. The triggers for the emotion will still be there and we will wonder what sliding doors moments passed us by not acting. We may even come to regret not converting a yearning into an impetus for change. Nobody needs regret and pining.

This yearning, even as at times a vague and directionless sense, is a major signal of disquiet with our circumstances. We cannot be present when we long for something else. This emotion is an invitation to our agency. We get to choose whether we act or we ignore. We get to choose how we respond.

We need to choose and act well. We don’t need to act precipitously. The change we make may not be a direct path to our object. It may not go there at all. If our longing involves others it may be unrequited. The time and conversation it takes us to convince others might also help us learn more about the changes.

Asking ourselves and others why we yearn opens other insights, each a door to remedy disquiet and improve our work and life. We will find other solutions or other paths as we go through this process. Sharing this process with others helps us reach beyond the limits of our own view and potential. We will also discover goals and hopes for which to yearn anew.

We can yearn passively and vaguely. We can only act on specifics. To fulfil the agency of our changes we must respond to our feelings through engaging with others, shared learning and experimentation.

Why isn’t anything going on in the senate?

Why are the senators sitting there without legislating?

 

      Because the barbarians are coming today.

      What’s the point of senators making laws now?

      Once the barbarians are here, they’ll do the legislating.

 

– CP Cavafy ‘Waiting for the Barbarians‘

Monsters at the Gates

Enabling Agency

• Digital Disruption: No external force is going to transform our organisations to equip them to survive and thrive in a digital economy, not even the fancy consultants. We need to manage the transitions for our role, team and organisation ourselves. Change agents are critical and can start now (They will have. Go find them). Start small, share information, build collaborations, experiment and you are more likely to have success than some enormous transformation project. Do it not for your glory, but to help others. Meanwhile increase the transparency and discussion of the need for change to prompt and enable others to do the same.
• Viral epidemics: There’s no magic vaccine (for at least 18 months). Wash your hands. Don’t touch your face. Work from home, if you can. Don’t gather with others when you are ill. Increase distance for a while. Avoid panic buying. Recognise you do this not for yourself, but for others. The herd needs protecting. Spread practical messages and support others to take action to protect themselves and others. We can take particular care of those at most risk, both in health and economically.
• Climate change: There is no imminent global solution to be implemented independently of our actions. We can each make decisions now to reduce our footprints and improve the impact of rising global temperatures. It will be inconvenient, but we don’t do it for ourselves. We do it for others. We can come together to advocate for larger societal and global changes. We can ensure that we consider not just the changes, but their costs.
• Racism, sexism and other prejudice: No magic wand is going to remove prejudice from the human psyche. At times the threat can feel overwhelming. Remember these experiences are start individual and roll-up to the collective. Practice empathy. Challenge and hold to account those expressing, reinforcing and practising biases. You are acting for others and may experience inconvenience. Act where you can to foster change. Give those experiencing prejudice the freedom to show others a better way. Be an ally. Join in actions of change against collective and institutional prejudice.

Will these steps change the world and remove all fear. No. What they will do is start the process of change in the face of fear. They are ways that we can start now.

Hope

“Let us do something, while we have the chance! It is not every day that we are needed. Not indeed that we personally are needed. Others would meet the case equally well, if not better. To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late! Let us represent worthily for one the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say? It is true that when with folded arms we weigh the pros and cons we are no less a credit to our species. The tiger bounds to the help of his congeners without the least reflexion, or else he slinks away into the depths of the thickets. But that is not the question. What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in the immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come — ”
― Samuel Beckett, Waiting for Godot

Postscript: Thanks also to Richard Martin for reminding me of Rebecca Solnit’s Hope in the Dark. A book I loved and which is a much richer exploration of our need to act and sustain hope. Read it.

Big decisions should trigger doubt. If not, they are either too safe or an illusion. Doubt applied well is a useful check in our decision making.

I’ve made a lot of decisions in my career. The biggest ones were always filled with anxiety.  The most important, most valuable and riskiest decisions were often full of things that were deeply unknowable. More often than not, that unknowable included myself, I would doubt my capabilities, whether I could do the work and whether the decision was even mine to make.

As I made these decisions, I would have told you that doubt, especially self-doubt, was my nemesis. I was wrong. Doubt was also my muse. For the right balance, we need inspiring optimism and some doubt.

Doubt as Muse

The worst decisions I have made in my life were all free of doubt. In each of these decisions I fell victim to either overconfidence or illusion.

Overconfidence – Doubt as Critical Friend

When you are flush with overconfident certainties, there is value in the doubts of a critical friend. We have all seen people enthusiastically play the role of nemesis in decision making. We have many terms for this role: devil’s advocate, critic, black hat, blocker, cynic and more. These roles are often framed as opponents and run the risk of hardening overconfidence, dividing people into factions and fostering a move towards faith and illusion in decision making.

When managed well, my doubt has often been able to be harnessed into the role of critical friend. It is not an opponent. It is helping me to succeed with ‘unconditional support and unconditional critique’. Doubt unpacks the overconfidence and lets me get closer to a realistic assessment of my capabilities, my goals and my situation. I have a chance to learn. Doubt makes me work harder to do a better job. Doubt as muse can push as to find newer and better ways to go, inspiring us to look harder and deeper into our decisions.

Illusion – Doubt ripples Narcissus’ Pool

One of the most dangerous times to make a decision is when we have fallen in love with our own illusions. Just as we can fall in love with our idea of another person, rather than that actual person, the ideas that we love so passionately can be our own self-satisfying illusions. Like Narcissus staring lovingly into the pool, we have lost our grounding and our way.

Groupthink is a common organisational example. Everyone in the room is so in love with the illusory facts and decision under discussion that they reinforce their own mistakes, biases and prejudices. They also ask themselves “what on earth were we thinking?’ as soon as they have to explain the decision to a doubting public outside of the room. 

Equally dangerous are the decisions we take on faith. The narcissistic culture of many organisations invites us to ignore the world outside and just believe in the story, the illusions and the quality of the decisions. Whether through actual narcissists running the organisation or processes that reinforce that thinking, these moments of faith can be enthralling if we don’t retain our doubts.

Introducing doubts into these illusions ripples the pool and gives us a chance to find our grounding again. These doubts can be as simple as asking “what would need to be right for that to happen?’ or ‘what else could go wrong?’ One of the key values of diversity in organisations is introducing new ways of thinking and seeing the world to help introduce new inspirations and new doubts into this collective decision making. Diversity can mean transitional phases of lower trust in teams but unconditional and unfounded trust is a danger.

We make better decisions when we consider risks and when we are grounded in the world. Doubt can help us shatter our individual and collective illusions and make better decisions.

Doubt as Nemesis

In either category, doubt crosses into nemesis when it becomes intolerant of failure and unrealistic in its concerns. At this point, it is a hindrance to decision, action and success. 

We all must retain a bias to action. Inaction under doubt is an organisational killer and a path to personal disappointment. 

Most of the time the doubts that block our decision making are less significant and the decisions are less momentous than we feel in the moment anyway. We like to imagine our lives as full of heroic forks in an ever rising road. More often they are winding paths that rise and fall with all kinds of double backs and loops to navigate.  Many of the decisions that we think are earth shattering turn out to be capable of subsequent adjustment, improvement or revision. We need to keep doubt as nemesis in its place.

Doubt hangs in every human moment and expands exponentially in groups. We cannot gain by ignoring it. We are better to embrace it and let it guide us forward as a critical friend.

PS If your decision feels safe, you are in the comfort zone, go find some doubt and try again.

This year I have been working with boundaries, partly as research and partly as self-care. In this work, I have found asking myself where I stand in relation to five key boundaries are important in improving my mindfulness as I go about my life and work. This is not a listicle. These five are not definitive. There is no significance to these five other than they are the first five that I am working on.

Why Boundaries?

Boundaries are just concepts – abstract, intangible & changeable. They are like lines in the sand or on a map, always crossable & transgressable. As humans we make boundaries all the time – norms, taboos, place making, markers of transition and so on – help, prohibitions, guidance and other social structures. We can also confuse these boundaries with more solid, more normative and unchangeable structures.

Most of these boundaries are aids to our memory, choices and decision making. Some are of significance because they mark lines where liminal states occur and where transformation happens. I have started looking into these boundaries because they are an artefact of human and organisational culture. They also have a significant shape on our personal decisions, emotions and actions. This post looks mostly at five key boundaries from a personal perspective.

My Five Boundaries

Choice and Obligation: This boundary is whether or not I have a choice in that moment. We talk a lot about choices but we live lives of choice and obligation. You can’t escape obligations to others if you live in society and some of the most important parts of life are bound up in obligations, not choices. The boundary is rarely fixed. Obligations stretch, change over time and are created by our ongoing actions. We can choose to ignore our obligations, but it is a choice with consequences. I am trying to be more aware of where I stand at this boundary and how my actions move the line.

Self and Others: This boundary seems obvious, but can easily be distorted. Am I working for myself or others? Are my needs being met here? Is this really me? Do I really want this or am I doing so to please others? It’s easy to get sucked in as a cog in a larger narcissistic experience and to have little sense of self. Our society and organisations are full of narcissists and narcissistic practices that don’t allow for the space where my self lives. Narcissistic thinking doesn’t recognise an other. Others are all extensions of the narcissist. A narcissist assumes others act on their direction and know what they know. Without space for an other in their thinking, it falls on me to create space for my self and to defend my self. Is an Instagram post really by, of or for me? We also need to recognise that the Other can be threatening, strange and inexplicable. Mindfulness can help me sort through these demands and ensure my needs are being met.

Work and Non-work: We live in an age where work can follow me anywhere and when a portfolio career can bleed the boundaries by creating multiple overlapping and expanding domains of work. There is a need to check out, to stop work and spend time on non-work. Expanding the domain of the non-work is an important and includes inbetweening non-work into the work domain. A subversive act can be as simple as taking a poetry book to work to read in the park at lunch. Walk through an office holding a poetry book and you are sending a signal.

Public and Private: I share a lot publicly because I am passionate about working out loud. However, I am very conscious of what sits behind the public boundary as the private. Of late, surveillance capitalism, the rise of engagement addiction, and a greater awareness of the lurking audience has seen me be more deliberate in this boundary and in moving more behind the private curtain. Unpublished posts rise in number and deleted drafts are now more common. I have always been mindful of what I share and had specific rules to follow. Now I am cautious in my choice of disclosures as well, while retaining a bias to the benefits of openness.

Comfort and Discomfort: Am I in the comfort zone? Am I taking enough risks to learn, to grow and to challenge myself? I have a huge capacity for risk and I have developed capabilities to manage discomfort. The danger is that I can be creating discomfort simply to practice these skills. The query I now ask is how to I feel? Do I need more or less comfort in this moment and task? Discomfort without control is not a positive experience. A comfortable moment is often the perfect tonic in a cycle of chaos. I don’t have to feel guilty to choose comfort or discomfort. They aren’t normative. They are just emotions and usually outcomes of other experiences.

Plato quoted Socrates as saying ‘an unexamined life is not worth living.’ I wouldn’t take it quite that far. Managing our lives and taking care of our selves in the process requires us to be more mindful of the boundaries we encounter as we go about our lives and work. These are the boundaries which are significant to me today and a little insight into why. What are yours? I expect that they will be different as everyone is grappling with different situations, challenges, obligations and choices as to where to draw the lines.

The test of mindfulness in these boundaries is not that every decision or action in our life is fully plotted and mapped. As noted above, all of these boundaries can be adjusted and we should make those adjustments freely when required and deliberately after due consideration. The test is whether we reflect on the nature and guidance of these boundaries when we need to do so.